Look and You Will Find

Anchoring with today's word:

LOOK

This morning I got up with an agenda. First real agenda in three days since I lost my job.

1. Get a run in.
2. Blog
3. Help Colt get some pressure washing done for a neighbor.
4. Go to HEB grocery store for three families.

The run was scrubbed as Steve and I got caught up on some business needs and spent an hour gathering information. So scurry to go help Colt get the pressure washer started. Old gas. Lots of pulls. Flooded engine. Very kinky hose. Unwind. Still kinky. Still flooded. Oh my gosh. Where’s Steve? Still on the phone. Finally. Rescued. Started.

Headed to the grocery store. Quickly. Really want to get that run in. Randall's would be closer. No. Remember, I don’t have a job. HEB is much more economical. I won’t tempt myself. I’ll bypass Randall's on the side road.

LOOK.

There were bluebonnets everywhere along that side road. Frankly, I think they must be at peak this week. Kind of ironic - when the world’s falling apart, nature has found it’s perfection. Gorgeous. But I’m in a hurry. I wonder if traffic will be heavier today on the main road? I wonder if there will be a line again today at HEB? I wonder if "the" virus is lurking anywhere in the store waiting for its next victim? I wonder if they'll have more hand sanitizer available to use while shopping today?

LOOK.

There’s a line to get in again. I’ll get gas first. Ick. Who all has touched this pump? Where's my hand sanitizer? Where's a disinfectant wipe? Finish. Jump in the car. Look in the mirror. Darn. Gas cap hanging off. Back out of the car. Maybe the line has died down by now.

No luck. Ok. Here I am. In line. Oh no. Someone recognizes me six feet from them. I’ve got my surf trucker cap pulled down with sunglasses on, but the conversation is real and stems around our high school seniors’ pain during this crisis. But fifteen minutes later and I’m “in”. Everyone’s minding their own business, so it’s pretty easy to navigate. Until I realize I don’t have my credit card. What the heck? Gas pumps? The Bermuda Triangle crevice between my console and seat? I ask permission, reverse through the doors and sprint back to my car. Yup. Crevice.

Pencil poking. Sunglass swiping. Violent seat sliding. Lots of flicking. Credit card reclaimed. And back in I go. No, people, I’m not cutting the line; just left here and my partially filled buggy is right inside the doors.

In “record time” of 2.5 hours I was on my way back home. Still determined to Get Out. But instead of a run, I opt for a bike ride. Those amazing bluebonnets were calling my name. And instead of running, I needed wind in my hair, grit on my legs and some speed down hills. I needed some nature and fresh air paired with a bit more adrenaline to relieve what was ailing me. #natureismedicine and I could use a good dose. There’s evidence-based science surrounding what nature can do for you mentally and physically - and if used intentionally just perhaps that knot in my chest and hole in my gut would subside. Preaching to the preacher with this sermon.

But on this journey, for a change I didn’t speed down our road. I was on my mountain bike, on the sidewalk and some self-made “off sidewalk” trails. I’d spent countless hours on a bike on this road training for Ironman events, Ironman 70.3’s, sprint triathlons, a gazillion events, a gazillion miles - and most of them in 2D - not really LOOKING, but going places, putting the miles in on seven, eight and nine hour bike rides...year after year. Not today.

I’m going to LOOK.


As I got closer to the fields of bluebonnets, I could smell them first. Yes, close to peak. Nothing like that smell - especially when you are a born and raised Texan. But my goal was to LOOK. Not speed past them or just see a field of rolling blue. I wanted to intentionally see each one I could. Every orange Indian Paintbrush that sat within them; every, but few, violet Wine Cup. And suddenly I was really on the LOOKout. I decided I was going to intentionally going LOOK until I found a white bluebonnet. I knew I would. Slowly cruising. Scanning. Absorbed in the moment. Intentionally. Bingo. Found one.

It all suddenly came together for me. The medicine was potent. If I hadn’t been intentionally looking I would have only seen the bigger picture - a rolling stream of blurred blue. But by knowing what I wanted to look for, I found it. (Granted, finding a white bluebonnet in Texas is pretty much like finding a four leaf clover, but I also believe in God-incidences, so yay God. ;-)

Just exactly like this very week during this awful health crisis, I could go and LOOK for the negative, the maybe’s, the fiction, all of the stress, the pent up anguish, anxiety and uncertainties. OR, if we are intentional, if we trust and if we LOOK, thankfully, we do indeed get exactly what we LOOK for.