Seeking Awe






Anchoring today in 

AWE.


Today I set out on a journey to find Awe and Wonder. Yesterday I was just the opposite, a recluse; I listened. I heard. I surrounded myself - intentionally - with quiet. Every time I was urged to fill the void with noise - whether television, a playlist, a podcast - I abstained - and chose quiet. By the end of the day, I felt grounded, present, collected.

Which is probably why I woke up this morning with a bit of my normal drive and push - I needed to connect on a different level this day. I needed to seek out a bigger picture. Perhaps something to whisper to me that I am woven into a vision, a purpose, a power that is bigger, better, higher than myself. "Reverential respect" - the best medicine to experience humility. And why the need for humility? Grounding myself into something much more important than me, than circumstance, than conditions was beckoning me as my source for resilience, mindfulness and presence.

AWE.

I no longer have a road bike. After pumping thousands of miles training on the roads for countless triathlons, Ironman and 70.3's - and taking that one solid "t-bone" that left me dazed, confused, battered, bruised - but alive - I finally sold my tri and road bikes a couple years ago. Bittersweet as I LOVED pumping those pedals. The Austin roadways have just become too busy, distracted, entitled. But I did replace them with a sweet mountain bike, Juliana. She's butter. But the cat's away , so the mouse had to play - I went on a road ride on Juliana. (Steve and Cade are in the midst of a 36 hour round trip to Arizona moving Cayden out of his dorm.)

AWE.

My gut said I needed to do some climbing - another tell tale that Steve's not going to be part of today's ride. Way too many "near divorce" rides over Texas Hill Country passes that he vowed he'd never travel again. So today I'd journey out solo, to cruise the smaller roads around Lake Travis and find some of my favorite local climbs. I needed to feel that leg and lung burn, to be humbled through activity, nature and circumstance.
AWE Sh** was more like it climbing up Mountain Trail switchback.

Surprisingly, Juliana turned out to be quite the climber and an enjoyable companion to navigate these smaller country roads. I even had to giggle riding her on the same bus route I spent 12 years of my life on - gazing into the backside (excuse the term ;-) of Hippy Hollow park - remembering how in elementary school everyone would take to the west side of the bus for a sneak peak into a roadside car or watching a park attendee nude and a foot "trekking". Back in the 70's Hippy Hollow was like a daily Woodstock event - folks sporting nothing walking up and down Comanche Trail, scrambling along the cliffs to one of the most popular skinny dipping areas in the nation.



AWE.

These visions were quickly swiped away, when bout sixteen miles into the ride, I heard a sweet, high pitched voice say "on your left". Those three words were never music to my ears during my training days. But seeing as I was on my four wheel drive cushy cruiser, it wasn't too difficult for me to off the pavement and navigate through the old blacktop side road rubble. But once I settled in my "off road rut" I got "chicked" - by a super shiny, golden tanned, boxed blonde a top a full carbon tri bike frame with a full matching kit, a 2020 Pantone colors of the year pallete of dusty pink roses overlying a vermouth backdrop. The entire kit matched: socks to shorts to jersey to helmet. 

AWE.

But today I was actually okay with that scenario. Training, passing, speeding, pedal to the pavement -
not my mission. Today's purpose and drive was internal. To ride in a 3D space, taking in the amazing scenery around me and to seek out those places that gave me perspective to something, someone that created this sacred place, this beautiful space. Today's ride wasn't about me, but something greater than I.

Researches describe AWE as "that sense of wonder we feel in the presence of something vast that transcends our understanding of the world." Personally, I feel an immediate connectivity to a collective vastness that is beyond myself, the exact need I had: to think, touch, connect to something beyond myself.

AWE.

Wallace J. Nichols, friend, scientist and author of Blue Mind, says that "nature is the number one source of AWE and wonder. It expands our empathy and compassion. And by experiencing it, we are taken out of ourselves, we rethink our world views and open our hearts and minds to other places."


Taken away. Out of myself. No worries. No fears. No others. No distractions. To a place of peace, presence, connection, humility - and beauty.

AWE.








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