Well, the commitment was made months ago, I stepped on the train, and now it is racing down the tracks to May 21, 2011, IM Texas. Frankly, about three weeks ago after a tough training week and a LONG weekend of juggling training, kids, events, training, husband, and more training, I was looking for the nearest depot - yes, to get off. Ok, I personally wouldn't have taken the first step to get off (call it ego, call it strength - or just call it stupidity), but I was looking for my "life" passenger (ie: partner, ie: Steve) to give me that nudge I would have needed to step off the train.
"I feel like I'm spending so much time away from the kids." "Oh, and this is just one of the first long training weekends - I'm not sure this is the right thing to do right now." No nudge off the train.
"We really need to talk about how, as a family, we're going to fit training into the other commitments we have together." "I need to spend more time with the boys, don't you think?" Again, no nudge off the train.
But the "conductor" did stop washing dishes and turned around and said, "I don't know how you juggle it either, but I sure am proud of the fact that you do it."
That's all it took. My spirit and attitude made an about face. "Keep moving, train. No one's getting off till we reach our final destination."
No one says its going to be easy. But that's what makes us strong, isn't it?
Not long after the Battle of The Train, I received this in my daily devotion inbox and gained even more perspective into why IM, for me, is such a spiritual endeavor. Sure, it does all those great things like build fitness and endurance, but those aren't eternal. Its the everlasting part where God builds our strength by relying on His strength that I love.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
Purpose Driven Connection, March 2011
We’re not as strong as we think we are, but God is stronger than we think.
You become strong through God’s strength. His strength enters your life, delivered by the Holy Spirit—Jesus within—and the more dependent you are on God, the stronger in him you become. In our weakness, he is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
“I can do everything . . .” doesn’t mean, ‘Now that I’m a believer, I’m strong enough to do everything and anything for God.” Your own testimony can attest to the fears and failures related to such thinking.
The strength of “I can do everything . . .” comes through God, who gives you the strength you need for each day. Your ability to “do everything” is wholly dependent upon him because your strength is dependent upon him. It’s not a strength you work up to by pumping iron with emotional or mental barbell...(OR simply training for an IM ;-)
Strength comes from submission. The thing you do that may require the greatest strength is to submit yourself completely to God! But God is “working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13 NLT).
Strength is linked to faith. You believe in faith that God is giving you his strength; and so, in faith you can act in confidence, knowing the strength is there: “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength” (2 Timothy 4:17 NIV).
Training for an IM is a commitment and a journey. The submission builds my faith and strength. Yes, the event is hard, but in comparison to what it takes to train for it, the event is just a short period of time to get through. The real IM is the journey to get there. But just as with my relationship with God, I have to "submit" and let God work in me to give me the power and strength for what lies ahead. What happens during the journey (and during the event ;-) is a part of that valued relationship with God that makes me who I am.
So just know that wanting to "get off the train" is not abnormal. However, if you'll let those that stand by your side give you strength to carry on, you will probably figure out that the journey is about something bigger than yourself...and well worth the ride :-)
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