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Showing posts from March, 2020

It's Not Been An Easy Day

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Seeking resilience by "Anchoring" in Reflection I will not lie. Today's been a tough day. Like so many other families, all four of us now "officially" co-habitat in our tiny house (Well, a castle by tiny house terms, but 1100 square feet is what we've called HOME our entire "family career".) The day turned "dreary" hours after sunrise. Fog, drizzle, mist, gray skies. Typically, a dismal day re-energizes my "forever summer" soul. But not today. Each raindrop was a stamp of how difficult the day was becoming. Surreal, if I was a bystander looking in. The world on hold; families being sentenced to stay together, connect, bond, have a relationship, buy back the days you wish you still had because life has passed in a blink. But instead the days that would have been a "gift" are today, pressurized. Difficult. Every word, sentence, statement - dissected. Misinterpreted. Feeling the need for space. The

Seeking Awe

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Anchoring today in  AWE. Today I set out on a journey to find Awe and Wonder. Yesterday I was just the opposite, a recluse; I listened. I heard. I surrounded myself - intentionally - with quiet. Every time I was urged to fill the void with noise - whether television, a playlist, a podcast - I abstained - and chose quiet. By the end of the day, I felt grounded, present, collected. Which is probably why I woke up this morning with a bit of my normal drive and push - I needed to connect on a different level this day. I needed to seek out a bigger picture. Perhaps something to whisper to me that I am woven into a vision, a purpose, a power that is bigger, better, higher than myself. "Reverential respect" - the best medicine to experience humility. And why the need for humility? Grounding myself into something much more important than me, than circumstance, than conditions was beckoning me as my source for resilience, mindfulness and presence. AWE. I no longe

Time To Hear

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Today I'm anchoring in QUIET.  Muting. Listening. Being still. Hushed. Noiseless. Private. It's a good day for QUIET. The local boat ramp parks are closed so the lake will probably be a bit more QUIET. I took Steve and Cade to the airport at 6am for a nonstop flight (with 18 other people) to Arizona. The house will be QUIET. We had morning rains and cooler skies move in. The environment is at peace and QUIET. Today I'm resisting the urge - intentionally - to fill the QUIET space. The temptation is to turn on the TV and see the latest data, hear the stats and ponder the opinions. Plug into the uncertainty and peak my irrational - and rational - fears and concerns. During my run, I had the desire to push "play" on one of my favorite podcasts to hear the opinions of the times from another wellness guru. When I finished running, I went to the dock to stretch. My "norm" is to hit "Spotify" for "today's playlist made just

Toss Some ROCKS

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Anchoring Today By Tossing Some ROCKS Running yesterday was brutal. Of course it was 1pm, upper 80's and probably our first real humid day of the year. But the morning had been just as harsh. Steve and I had to work through some business issues that were very stressful; Cade, our "newly legal" 21 year old, had just found out he needed to be out of his dorm 15 hours away in 72 hours; and my "former" job still hadn't replied if they got our unemployment files submitted. Since there was absolutely nothing I could do to relieve any of it at that moment, by 1pm, a run sounded like the best option. So a good, sweaty trail run it would be. ROCKS. Lots of them - to negotiate and maneuver as I entered the trail head. Most of our trails around here have a quick little decline "drop in" with those little limestone obstacles everywhere. This one has lots. Jog, jive, juke, skip, double hop, lots of maneuvering and I was &q

Look and You Will Find

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Anchoring with today's word: LOOK This morning I got up with an agenda. First real agenda in three days since I lost my job. Get a run in. Blog Help Colt get some pressure washing done for a neighbor. Go to HEB grocery store for three families. The run was scrubbed as Steve and I got caught up on some business needs and spent an hour gathering information. So scurry to go help Colt get the pressure washer started. Old gas. Lots of pulls. Flooded engine. Very kinky hose. Unwind. Still kinky. Still flooded. Oh my gosh. Where’s Steve? Still on the phone. Finally. Rescued. Started. Headed to the grocery store. Quickly. Really want to get that run in. Randall's would be closer. No. Remember, I don’t have a job. HEB is much more economical. I won’t tempt myself. I’ll bypass Randall's on the side road. LOOK. There were bluebonnets everywhere along that side road. Frankly, I think they must be at peak this week. Kind of ironic - when

I Feel What You're Saying

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Anchoring in today to: Listen. Can you say times are stressful? Understatement. Everyone's living their own story right now. Yes, there's a global picture of stress and strife that connects each of us, but there are so many stories being written as each of us takes our individual journey through this. Each person in our HOME is experiencing something different, the common denominator being this global crisis and how it has enveloped our lives. I could write the list of "inconveniences", fears, concerns, uncertainties, wishes, desires, anger - the list could go on and on.  But we all share the same list.  Our HOME is no different than many of yours. Our senior is disappointed, sad, inquisitive, mad - all in the same instance. Our college age son is concerned, curious, stressed, displaced - constantly in flux without his own household items, college needs, his school "family" and friends. My husband - trying to hold a small busi

It's Not a House

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Anchoring with today's word: Home. I was fortunate enough to be born and raised, and now live next to, the same Home for 56 years. Actually, that was also the year my parents moved into their Home, 1956. (I'm sure there's some fancy math word for those two relating numbers, but we'll save that for later.) In 1967 my grandparents retired from Ohio and built a little 1000 square foot house next to us - kinda took away our horses roaming area, but at that time, we had 1000's of acres to play and roam, as Steiner Ranch was simply a ranch, and life was the same - quite simple. I'd roam bareback on my palomino, Tammy. Most of the time wearing a swimsuit (not a surprise to those that know me well, I'm sure). She was my form of transportation, fun and play - and at times we fought like siblings, as she was infamous for having to wear a bow on her tail (signaling a kicker) and I for many times getting tossed, thrown and toppled from her 16 hand height, m

I Will Not Let This Define Me

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Anchoring in with today's word: DEFINE. I woke up this morning at my typical 4:45am - with the normal debate: silently squeak outside and start working out, hit "start" on the espresso machine, or roll over and think for the next couple hours. So I rolled over (preferable to catching the discerning eye later from husband on what continues to drive me to be active daily - after 31 years of marriage you think he'd know ;-) As I lay there, I focused on what word would come to me this morning to anchor me through another day of the unseen, unknown, uncertainties. (See yesterday's Blog: "I Don't Know.")  Several words came to mind, but they also "ghosted" rather quickly, so I knew those weren't choosing me today. What I knew and intuitively felt was that I was feeling led to be in the moment today, to not let debate, assumptions, data, or potential distract me. I knew today I wanted to really "experience" today. Not let

"I Don't Know"

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It's been a roller coaster ten days for everyone - me, my family, many members of our close community - and the entire world. The COVID-19 virus has escalated and will definitely be one of the most historical global crisis ever. And we are just at the cusp of what is to come over the next several weeks. I'm normally not a frustrated person. "Decisive." "Focused." "Committed." "Relentless." I'm sure my husband could add a few other select descriptors. But these adjectives are a large part of my DNA - what drives me, moves me, assists me in my decisions, my accomplishments. I, like many of you, have found myself waking up in the middle of the night, waiting for some daily news, anxious to hear something definitive. Not that I have a high level of personal fear or anxiety over this invisible monster, but dealing with something that is unseen with no track record lends to not having tools, experience and knowledge for the most basi