Save Some For Later | Finding Meaning, Post-Pandemic

Fifty four days. But who is counting. I kind of quit tallying the days. If I did, I was looking back - or forward - and not existing in the day.

When we were sentenced to sheltering in our homes, when I was laid off, when my college son moved home, when my husband locked his doors and began working by appointment only, when I had to basically shackle my 90 year old folks to stay within their own confines, and when our senior son learned his May graduation date was cancelled, I made the decision that if nothing good was going to happen during this unknown time, I had the choice to make something good come out of it.

Meaning.

Being at home with only essential errands and nothing but time for 2 1/2 months - for me - is quite the feat. I don't sit still well, nor do I exist in idle mode. I tend to always push the boundaries, the opportunities - yes, even on occasion pulling the trigger before I aim. But those that know me would say that one of my traits is to push, pursue, persevere. 

During the peak of my Ironman and Marathon training days, my schedule was about 25-30 hours of swim, bike and run weekly. Then weekend travel, then coming home to do it again. Plus raising two amazing boys and coaching fitness part time. I'd run about 40 miles a week, swim almost 10 and bike approximately 200. I look back now and wonder why my entire family didn't pull the kool-aid plug! They were, in fact, beyond supportive as they knew it was a "bucket list" pursuit of accomplishments. But I did have a dear friend who would give me a grimacing look every time he saw me and say, "Cin, save some for later". I was always of the mindset that who wants to think about later when you can live for today?

However, sitting around during quarantine, watching time slowly pass on most days, I did begin to feel like I was absolutely saving something for later. But what was "later" going to look like? How would life be shaped when we were no longer captive? What would the new "normal" be, and how often would that change? In what new ways would our society re-engage publicly and in business? Everything I was thinking about had to do with the outside world reestablishing, and not my own. I was spending my time pondering, theorizing, assuming and processing what would differ about everything else outside myself and in areas of which I had no control. In actuality, when I re-framed the situation, I was being gifted with time to reset my own life. At that point, I consciously made the decision that out of COVID19 I would bring with me three attributes that I promised myself would add value to my life and who I am post-quarantine.

Meaning.

Coming through the fog of this event - and truly not knowing still what lies on the other side - or where the other side even is - it's become a personal objective to be able to articulate what those three items are. Blessings, values, virtues, boundaries. What are three positives that will become part of my DNA, my actions, the backbone of my decisions, as I move forward? What am I "saving for later" from COVID19 that will positively effect my life? 

Meaning.

I don't have a crystal ball, and after saying "I don't know" for week upon week about what the future holds, I can now anchor into what I do know, and that is I can still grow in times of adversity.

1. Purpose. Before COVID19, I was only living a very small fraction of my purpose and had gotten away from the entire "puzzle" that completes who I am. For instance, I've had the blessing of time to begin writing again. I love writing. Why had I quit? Because I was living other people's purpose and not my protecting my own. One of my college degrees is in journalism - for the very reason because I love touching lives through writing. I've always enjoyed inspiring individuals in how they think about life through words. But through "busy-ness", I'd let time for writing slip away. Nope. Not any more. It's truly a part of the fiber of which I am woven. I've had the opportunity to pick back up on my blog; I'll be sharing my blog through our new 501c3 and upcoming website, Operation Get Out; I've been guest blogging on The Scoop, The Fiske Group's wellness and public relations blog; and most recently I've accepted the opportunity to write a wellness column for AustinFit Magazine.

2. Self-Worth. I listen to a positive podcast every morning. During one of them while I was sheltering in place, I heard "don't make the mistake of letting humility limit you". I had to think about that for a while and really take an objective look at myself. I surround myself with humble people, and I'm absolutely not one to "toot my own horn". In fact, I'd prefer a mystery, non-publicized, no social media kind of life. My favorite events or activities are those that I do incognito and keep to myself. I don't share "my" story, but I do use my experiences to inspire the lives of others. However (and I should capitalize that) there's a fine line between self-worth and humility. Instead of humbly moving forward, I will set forth with my worth. God gave me strengths; I need to not only use them and leverage them, but also protect them.

3. Boundaries. There's also a fine line between my life mantra of "I Can" to the exhaustion of getting spread too thin. Yes, "I can" dig in and do the work of multiple people, push through exhaustion to get things done, hustle after hours and make things happen, and finish every task I start before deadline. However, fulfilling the needs of others at the sacrifice of myself, family and life as a whole, puts the lives of others before my own. 

Purpose. Self-Worth and Boundaries. I've written these three words boldly in my journal. And as I take those same baby steps as everyone else, re-engaging with society, a job, a life outside of home, those words will assist me in not only choosing the paths I will walk down, but the way I determine to proceed on them. Remembering where I came from, but most importantly who I found there. And now, wholeheartedly honoring and living the words of my long time friend, "Save Some For Later"!