"Send"

It took me four days to push that button. The webpage had sat open on my desktop for four days; all the boxes were filled in, all info complete. However, by pushing "send" I knew I'd mentally and physically commit myself (and my family :-) for the next 9 months to preparing for the St. George Ironman. 2.4 mile swim; 112 mile bike; 26.2 marathon run. "How many days does that take?" someone later asked me? Lots.

So why did I push "send"?

Every year instead of New Year's resolutions I always have a word or phrase to focus on. For me, it's a "nutshell" of focus and simplifies what could be a tedious list of what I should and shouldn't do into one direct affirmation. This year it's "No Regrets". To live, act, say, make decisions with the end result of "no regrets" in mind.

Steve and I created Bucket Lists last year. I'm sure we all have our own Bucket Lists by now. (If you don't, I encourage you to get busy making yours - not that I think you're going to kick the bucket some day - well, actually I KNOW you are! Hah! However, more importantly, I don't want you to have any regrets one day either.) Life is way too short to postpone what is good and possible in your life.

So I simply pushed "send" because if I didn't do it, I knew I'd regret it. What would keep me from doing it? A list of excuses, which I refuse to use in my life. Fear, time, family, commitment, knowledge, location, desire, that dreaded hysterectomy I had to have in January....In actuality, the list didn't hold up to what the potential outcome could be. A stronger mind, improved physical endurance, better time management, a sense of accomplishment, fulfilling the organization, time management and huge need for "juggling" life to make all the training happen - and most importantly, a better understanding of the purpose that God has created for me.

My goal for training has been "no would of, should of, could of's" - I've put forth as much time and effort as I would allow in my own and our family's life. (Disclaimer :-) I will admit, I don't consider myself a triathlon junkie; it is not my "high" in life. In my life, just living is a "high" and God has given me so much purpose and passion in addition to triathlon that I'm grateful, fortunate and blessed to say there are other people, opportunities, sports, joys - and missions that drive me.) I have created boundaries and limits for how much training I would pursue and by the end of the training schedule, I knew I did not want to look back and say "gee, I should have done this, or if I had done that". I've had a plan, "checked" it off a workout at a time (huge shout out to those girlfriends that kept me accountable through those "check"? text messages when they knew I'd been out for day long workouts :-) and experienced some of the "robotics" of triathlon training - you gotta get it done or suffer the consequences come the day of the event. That's where regrets become a physical reality through a weak commitment. So there have been some personal sacrifices, but that's mostly been just temporarily letting go of some other activities that I enjoy for now.

Regrets.

Have I had any since pushing "send"? No. None at all. It's all been a journey and a course in balance, preparation and refinement. Will I have regrets while treading 60 something degree water with over 2400 other souls waiting for the gun to go off in St George? At that moment in time it may feel like regrets, but I'm certain those feelings will be easily confused with anxiety, emotion and anticipation. (At some point I will post and share with you my "visualization" blog of what I'm "planning" to feel like on IM day; as of this writing, I'm still planning ;-). It will be interesting to compare it to the "real" day experiences :-) But after the event is over, my expectation is to look back and realize I'm a better person because of the path I've chosen - with no regrets.