An Unseen Gift

To #beresilient today, I am anchoring in with the word

Dedicate

[ verb ded-i-keyt] to devote wholly and earnestly.

Commit. Pledge. Give. 

I started the practice of dedicating thoughts, energy and actions to specific individuals when I was competing in Ironman full distance events. It's a 140.6 mile day doing three events, and two of those events at, comparatively, what feels like a snail's pace. Swimming 2.4, then ticking along at a decent speed for 112 miles on the bike, but then coming back to transition area sometime during the afternoon to begin a marathon of 26.2 miles. THAT is when the mind starts working, one mile at a time. Finding a tool to help calm the mind, increase presence and center.

Dedicate.

To get through each of those mental miles, at every Ironman, I'd choose one particular person in my life to focus on, for every mile I ran in each of those marathons. It gave me 26 different people to think about, pray for, concentrate on, send positive thoughts and energy to. One step at a time, one mile at a time.

Dedicate.

Yesterday - and the night prior - was a difficult time in our home. "One of our household members" spending hours one evening and then the next morning with continued anxiety and uncertainty over a decision needing to be made due to the pandemic. Stress, emotion, youth dealing with adult decisions that none of us had precedence to provide valuable strategies, suggestions, ideas for - because no one has ever dealt with a situation like this ever, in history, in our lifetimes, and certainly not in our households. It was mentally and emotionally demanding for all of us, not having "the answers" for him, but sharing what wisdom we could conjure from experiences we have had that could apply. Regardless we were all in it together and committed to do whatever we could to make the decision that felt most "right".

Dedicate.

We all want the best for our kids, our family members, friends and loved ones. Conversations and situations that are based out of mental and emotional trauma, in my life, always bleed into my own emotional stress as well. I want to "fix" it, have the right "answer", legitimize it. But "growing pains" I cannot repair, but I can pray, send positive thoughts, love, and devotion their way.

Dedicate.

An hour, an act or action, perhaps even an entire day to someone in your life. In this case, it was a run, with the intent to be wholly focused and dedicated to my son. I "anchored in", was mindful, present, prayed, thought, appreciated, valued, committed, thought of every single positive attribute of his with compassion, kindess and gratitude. The differences in our traits, our attributes; the similarities in our processes, ideas, beliefs, concepts. Acknowledging each and being indebted for all. I let the "memory" wheel spin, conjuring up clips of the past - and relishing in them. I focused on unknown days to come in the future, college decisions yet to be made, "majors" yet to be decided, dorms yet to be chosen, cities of residence, yet to be located. I mentally pictured him making decisions and celebrating the results, the life, the course they would lead him on.

Dedicate.

"Ride in front of me," my husband, Steve has said for over thirty years when we bike together, and continued to recite on our bike ride today. We still joke about that saying, and his almost adamant plea even to this day, especially after me taking a "hit" on our road bikes years ago, particularly because I was the one riding "in front" that the driver turned "in front" of when we were clipping along at 20+ mph and the rider "in front",  me, was t-boned. But none the less, the mantra of "ride in front of me" is part of every ride when we are together as Steve's chivalry is still loved and appreciated.

And yesterday wasn't any different. But I didn't. Mentally, emotionally and soulfully, I needed to be behind. "You go first, I will follow." Because I wanted to focus, settle in, have "his" back. Today was my day.

Dedicate.

This ride, this couple hours. To the man I will be married to 31 years (+6 of dating!) next month. I won't lie; it's been stressful in our house. Not a news flash to anyone sharing quarters with someone(s) else during this health crisis. "I don't know" is said tens of times in almost any conversation we have when there's a decision to be made, always leading to more uncertainty. But the stress is absolutely superficial to the love and devotion that's there. For all of us. Steve. The boys. Mom and Dad. Friends and Family.

"Intentionally" riding behind Steve to "intentionally" spend the time to appreciate, have gratitude, send positive thoughts for every decision he would need to make this week, today, this year. Acknowledging all he does to provide, do his best, support and love each of us through his actions, his devotion, his commitment. Every mile, every spin of the wheel, every mindful thought given to and of him.

Dedicate.

We can all use some "positivity" through all of this. And sometimes the silent type is the most powerful. When no one but you and the powers that be know what's stewing inside of you, what is settled in your heart, what that glimmer in your eye is all about, the mysterious "slight" grin on your face. Who you're thinking about, intentionally, at this very moment and why.

Dedicate.